TUNE: JOHN JACOB...
Dropped out of school to be a pro
Thought it would be a breeze
Your first day on the team - you went down with a scream
Now you're a bum with broken knees ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow
TUNE: I'VE BEEN WORKINI ON THE RAILROAD
Bigger isn't really better
Might does not make right
Shaq can't even write a letter
Foreman's way too old to fight
Rocky's losing all his brain cells
Learn to duck a punch
Norm is nothing but a fat pig
Who eats his beer for lunch
TUNE: SANTA CLAUS IS COMINí TO TOWN
Skin eroding, pimples exploding
Brain cells are shrinking
And your hair is growing thin
Keep the steroids out of the gym
Hey there Mr. Sumo
Go pick that big wedgie
How can you wrest in the way you're dressed
Don't show your butt to me
TUNE: FROSTY THE SNOWMAN
White team is thinking
Of a way to tell the green
Stop playing with your barbells
And your Soloflex machines
Then you will realize
That you are out of luck
With I.Q.ís under forty-two
You'll all be driving trucks
Submitted by Serena Stein